An observation service
An opinion on your shit, for nine dollars.
Upload a photo. Get a short, non-diagnostic observation in under twenty seconds. No account. No history. No one ever sees it but the machine.
§ 01 — What you get
A sample report.
report · 00417~14 sec
Looks normal.
What I'm seeing
- Bristol
- Type 4 — smooth, sausage-shaped, the kind textbooks use.
- Color
- Medium brown, standard.
- Texture
- Cohesive. No fragmentation.
- Notable
- Nothing unusual.
Context
This is what a textbook is pointing at when it says "well-formed." You're hydrated, you ate some fiber at some point, and your transit time is in a reasonable neighborhood. Unremarkable in the most flattering sense of the word.
If it keeps happening
Keep doing whatever you're doing. No note to file.
Not medical advice. Just my opinion. — yourshit.ai
§ 02 — The process
Three steps. No account.
Take a photo
Good lighting, decent angle. You'll know.
Pay nine dollars
Apple Pay, Google Pay, or card. One tap. No signup, no password, no newsletter.
Get the opinion
A short observational report in under twenty seconds. The photo is deleted immediately after. We keep nothing.
§ 03 — Honest answers
You probably want to ask:
Is this a joke?
Partially. The price is real, the analysis is real, the humor is real, but the Bristol Stool Scale we reference is a legitimate clinical tool used by gastroenterologists. So: a serious joke.
What do you do with my photo?
It's sent to a vision model, the report is returned, and the image is deleted. No storage, no training, no account tied to it, no gallery, no "my past reports" page. One shot. Gone.
Is this medical advice?
No. It is emphatically, deliberately, legally not medical advice. It's an observation in plain English from a language model. If something feels wrong, see a doctor. That's true with or without us.
Will you diagnose me with something?
No. The system is specifically instructed not to name diseases, not to speculate, and not to alarm. It describes what it sees. If what it sees is worth a doctor's attention, it will say so plainly.
Why nine dollars?
Cheap enough to be an impulse. Expensive enough to mean we don't need ads, accounts, or your data to stay alive.
Refunds?
If the analysis fails for technical reasons, yes, automatically. If you didn't like the opinion, no — you bought an opinion.